Hey peeps! Just updated my LWYT playlist on Soundcloud with a bunch of rough mp3s available for streaming and download. Something to hold you over while I work on my new solo album! Let me know what you think or if any song in particular resonates with you!
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Lyrics:
she is a mother who gave me a father her name is norma jean bill was a deacon after he quit drinking he married her when she was sixteen moved her out west when the greatest depression chased them, they escaped by the skin of their teeth i watched him adore her, do everything for her he carried her purse, and he watched her sleep 64 times they circled sun til he shot off the earth like a rubber band gun her soul folded up like a thin paper plane waiting for takeoff to see him again the man of her dreams the man in her dreams i’m a granddaughter who lost my grandfather my name is lindsay ann meaningless moments turn into memories he picked me up from school in a mercury sedan what I’ll most miss is the forehead kisses cause I grew up taller than my family tree he left me a lesson that kindness is best you can survive a hard life with no enemies 32 times we circled the sun til he shot off the earth like a rubber band gun i got no right to complain, no reason to cry he told me to relax, let the world go by the man of my dreams (x3) the man in my dreams 1. hope springs eternal
or so i've been told but i know it's terminal even hope gets sick, gets old oh faith you fickle friend you bargain and seduce disguised like a goddamn godsend just pretended to know the truth ch: if it was lies why have I been holding all my breath in waiting for the big exhale i guess there comes a time to say goodbye to throwing pennies in a wishing well 2. they say you can’t miss what you never had here’s my objection i’ll never miss something half as bad as relying on the lie of reconnection hope keeps a journal but words are cannon fodder grim reaps maternal grim reaps daughter repeat chorus As most of you know, I've been struggling to process the difficult relationship I have with my mother in the context of her battle with brain cancer. I woke up this morning and the words to this song just fell out. I wouldn't normally choose to write a song alluding to tourniquets since that's been done about a zillion times before but this particular song didn't really come from my own brain as much as it did my subconscious so I felt it was important to deliver in spite of the cliche. I wanted the song to be relatable from all aspects of the situation- from both my perspective as well as my mother's. Lyrics:
1. all these needles all in vain when will sleep come to numb the pain? cut it off so it won't bleed how does one try not to need? CHORUS i'm learning how to roll with it the tightening of the tourniquet no blood supply i'm used to it but i'll die trying loosen the grip 2. all the things I saw explain the rubber mouth and stubborn jaw circulatory system breech what kind of wave resists the beach? CHORUS BRIDGE it wasn't my plan i didn't mean no harm oh well who needs a hand who needs a loving arm CHORUS Just wrote a new song I'll call D&H for now. A little belated ditty inspired primarily by my songwriting book club's most recent selection, Many Lives, Many Masters by Brian L. Weiss. I'd read the book once before, but it's always different reading from a songwriter's perspective. I enjoy these projects and take them quite seriously. I like the challenge as well as the accomplishment of being able to whittle pages and pages of notes down to a tiny little creation. It's like word pottery. Although sometimes I end up grieving the words and phrases that don't make the final version. I love that these book selections take me on a journey, first far away into another world of experiences, then back and somehow closer to myself than I was when I started. New themes and stories and characters apply themselves like a bandage to my tangled knot of a psyche, and I am able to unearth a different yet familiar perspective. It's like writing from a bird's eye view of myself. A secondary source of inspiration is an ongoing dialogue between me and my father regarding the necessity of action, which happens to be a recurring theme in my life, in his life, and in the aforementioned book. (Not to mention every other freakin' place I look...but I'll write more about synchronicity later.) Ok, here goes. As my pal Jeffrey Joe would say, writing this song felt like oral surgery. D&H 1. Father hear my pleas, don’t make me scrape my knees Even Diogenes, he agrees with me A syndrome of self neglect is the sin of intellect Holding lanterns to the light is no necessity CH What good is a god with the head of a falcon that lives on the body of man What sense is the strength of a thoroughbred stallion Running like a scared mare every chance that it can What comfort lies in millions of lives if they’re over before they began Sometimes it shapes me, sometimes it escapes me The good of a god in the body of man 2. Father hear my cries, I’m not buying alibis Your books so wise disguise the valleys for the peaks If all your world’s a page you’ll never take the stage Baby steps assuage the magnitude of quantum leaps REPEAT CH BRIDGE: Heaven knows I’m also froze and apples don’t fall far Trust me, any day’s a good day in the shade of where you are But I’m a prudent teacher’s student and I'm just trying to understand Heads and birds, actions and words And the good of a god in the body of man. REPEAT CH   1. i feel unshakeable sadness
i feel unbreakable guilt everybody’s just sitting on their axis it’s just the way my axis tilts i think a lot about life i think a lot about death everybody’s trying to do what’s right with the life that they got left CHORUS now won’t you tell me…what would you rather be the careless chaff or the worried wheat 2. i’m losing my sense of direction i’m losing my will to proceed Done running for reelection im ready to concede CHORUS BRIDGE Who am I to call this hurting Who am I to be afraid Sometimes your blessing is a burden Sometimes a feather is a weight when you're the worried wheat 3. i will get on the saddle i hope this horse can swim right now i don't even want to paddle i’ll be better in the morning CHORUS Lyrics:
1. you wick away the water before you step out of the shower you lather on the lotion for about a thousand hours CHORUS i soak up these scenes and small routines all the little things you do just when i thought you gave me everything you give me something new to love about you 2. you love cheese enchiladas and candies with words written on them you make sure i’m tucked in tight before you leave me in the morning CHORUS 1.
There I was driving fast past the desert wind mill farms Couldn’t see energy in their lifeless heavy arms Never thought something so still could make me feel such an alarm Maybe my anxious observation made them nervous to perform 2. the outlaw sun had every one frozen like a stick up they were praying for momentum, wondering when the wind might pick up the sharp scare of the dead air could surely cure a case of the hiccups i’m still clicking both my heels but now the dust won’t even kick up CHORUS i didn’t know what to do, i didn’t know what to say i didn’t wanna go but sure as hell didn’t wanna stay can’t recall every moment but I’ll always know the the way I felt in the desert wild, a lonely child on mother’s day 3. i slowed down near a truck stop town when something caught my sight a cactus backed against the rocks, flexing for a fight Needles and pins pushing in and out with all their might It looked thirsty, at the worst, it may not make it through the night 4. i felt sorry for that plant and the way it can’t give love how should a cactus act when it’s offered a proper hug of course i cared but wouldn’t dare to give it more than a sad shrug i looked on the ground all around but never found my kid gloves CHORUS BRIDGE somewhere the weather’s not so hot and the ocean comes to play otters hold hands when they sleep so they don’t drift away but daughters cling to other things cause they’d drown if they stayed i thought in the desert wild, a lonely child on mothers day CHORUS Chorus:
I will pretend she is your friend Fantasy’s ideal for me I will pretend she is your friend Reality is killing me 1. Didn’t i say if you live this way I will never approve Didn’t I say if you live this way God will take heaven from you Didn't I say if you live this way you’re turning your back on the truth Thank God for unconditional love or how else could I make myself love a sinner like you CHORUS 2. Didn’t you think about what I thought did you not think about my belief Didn’t you try to get by on a diet of guilt and grief Didn’t you know the way you chose to grow, now i can’t say I’m proud of how you grew Thank God for unconditional love or how else could I make myself love a daughter like you CHORUS A song I wrote for my songwriting book club, inspired by The Art of Asking by Amanda Palmer. Also inspired by how much I love my little dollface Audrie. Just so happened to earn Honorable Mention in American Songwriter Magazine's Lyric Contest for this ditty. 1. my thumb is one indecisive prick
don’t show him your swatches cause he’ll never pick he’s got all these rules and sticks out when he’s sore but he cradles the neck of his taylor guitar he likes the road and the road likes him too but he’s always hitching the first ride back to you 2. index is on deck, he directs and selects he’s got brilliant ideas for what should come next the grandiose one in the air for the win blessed with hearing the soul and steering the pen like God to Adam in Michaelangelo’s hue he’s making a point to create a life with you CHORUS always done what i could with the hand i was dealt raised it and shook it, wrote down what I felt never won with a straight, just a face here and there kept hoping for two of a kind for a pair i’m down on one knee so you know where I stand would have folded by now if it weren’t for your hand 3. the third’s like a bird, so careless and wild a chip on her shoulder, the mad middle child she’s mastered the art of the cold hard goodbye when she turns her back proud with her head held up high but index the peacemaker always steps in if you ever see her, my love, you’ll also see him 4. the ring finger’s all heart, she’s made it her mission to cry at commercials and value tradition she won’t claim religion but her finger’s right on it her prayers take the shape of rumi’s love sonnets she’ll stand in a crowd and happily swear to wear any ring you place there REPEAT CHORUS 5. Last but not least, small but not weak everyone stops to hear him when he speaks his reach may surprise you, for it’s far and long he’s got a tiny physique but he’s character-strong not a word out of place, not a letter untrue he’s pinky promising all his love to you |
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