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Updates for LWYT Playlist - Free Downloads!

3/9/2016

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Hey peeps! Just updated my LWYT playlist on Soundcloud with a bunch of rough mp3s available for streaming and download. Something to hold you over while I work on my new solo album! Let me know what you think or if any song in particular resonates with you!
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Rubber Band Gun

3/9/2016

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Lyrics:
she is a mother who gave me a father
her name is norma jean
bill was a deacon after he quit drinking
he married her when she was sixteen

moved her out west when the greatest depression 
chased them, they escaped by the skin of their teeth
i watched him adore her, do everything for her
he carried her purse, and he watched her sleep

64 times they circled sun til he shot off the earth 
like a rubber band gun
her soul folded up like a thin paper plane
waiting for takeoff to see him again
the man of her dreams
the man in her dreams

i’m a granddaughter who lost my grandfather
my name is lindsay ann
meaningless moments turn into memories 
he picked me up from school in a mercury sedan

what I’ll most miss is the forehead kisses
cause I grew up taller than my family tree
he left me a lesson that kindness is best you can
survive a hard life with no enemies

32 times we circled the sun til he shot off the earth
like a rubber band gun i got no right to complain, no reason to cry
he told me to relax, let the world go by
the man of my dreams (x3)
the man in my dreams
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Pennies

3/9/2016

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1. hope springs eternal
or so i've been told
but i know it's terminal
even hope gets sick, gets old

oh faith you fickle friend
you bargain and seduce
disguised like a goddamn godsend
just pretended to know the truth

ch: if it was lies why have I been 
holding all my breath in
waiting for the big exhale
i guess there comes a time to say goodbye to
throwing pennies in a wishing well

2. they say you can’t miss what you never had
here’s my objection
i’ll never miss something half as bad
as relying on the lie of reconnection

hope keeps a journal
but words are cannon fodder
grim reaps maternal
grim reaps daughter

repeat chorus
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Tourniquet

10/7/2015

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As most of you know, I've been struggling to process the difficult relationship I have with my mother in the context of her battle with brain cancer. I woke up this morning and the words to this song just fell out. I wouldn't normally choose to write a song alluding to tourniquets since that's been done about a zillion times before but this particular song didn't really come from my own brain as much as it did my subconscious so I felt it was important to deliver in spite of the cliche. I wanted the song to be relatable from all aspects of the situation- from both my perspective as well as my mother's. 
Lyrics:
​1. all these needles all in vain

when will sleep come to numb the pain?
cut it off so it won't bleed
how does one try not to need?

CHORUS
i'm learning how to roll with it
the tightening of the tourniquet 
no blood supply i'm used to it
but i'll die trying loosen the grip 

2. all the things I saw
explain the rubber mouth and stubborn jaw
circulatory system breech
what kind of wave resists the beach?

CHORUS

BRIDGE
it wasn't my plan
i didn't mean no harm
oh well who needs a hand
who needs a loving arm

CHORUS
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D&H (Good of a God)

8/19/2015

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Just wrote a new song I'll call D&H for now. A little belated ditty inspired primarily by my songwriting book club's most recent selection, Many Lives, Many Masters by Brian L. Weiss. I'd read the book once before, but it's always different reading from a songwriter's perspective. 

I enjoy these projects and take them quite seriously. I like the challenge as well as the accomplishment of being able to whittle pages and pages of notes down to a tiny little creation. It's like word pottery. Although sometimes I end up grieving the words and phrases that don't make the final version. I love that these book selections take me on a journey, first far away into another world of experiences, then back and somehow closer to myself than I was when I started. New themes and stories and characters apply themselves like a bandage to my tangled knot of a psyche, and I am able to unearth a different yet familiar perspective. It's like writing from a bird's eye view of myself. 

A secondary source of inspiration is an ongoing dialogue between me and my father regarding the necessity of action, which happens to be a recurring theme in my life, in his life, and in the aforementioned book. (Not to mention every other freakin' place I look...but I'll write more about synchronicity later.) Ok, here goes. As my pal Jeffrey Joe would say, writing this song felt like oral surgery.

D&H

1. Father hear my pleas, don’t make me scrape my knees
Even Diogenes, he agrees with me
A syndrome of self neglect is the sin of intellect
Holding lanterns to the light is no necessity

CH
What good is a god with the head of a falcon 
that lives on the body of man
What sense is the strength of a thoroughbred stallion 
Running like a scared mare every chance that it can
What comfort lies in millions of lives 
if they’re over before they began
Sometimes it shapes me, sometimes it escapes me
The good of a god in the body of man

2. Father hear my cries, I’m not buying alibis
Your books so wise disguise the valleys for the peaks
If all your world’s a page you’ll never take the stage
Baby steps assuage the magnitude of quantum leaps

REPEAT CH

BRIDGE:
Heaven knows I’m also froze and apples don’t fall far
Trust me, any day’s a good day in the shade of where you are
But I’m a prudent teacher’s student and I'm just trying to understand
Heads and birds, actions and words
And the good of a god in the body of man. 


REPEAT CH
Picture
Picture
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Worried Wheat

7/20/2015

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1. i feel unshakeable sadness
i feel unbreakable guilt
everybody’s just sitting on their axis
it’s just the way my axis tilts

i think a lot about life
i think a lot about death
everybody’s trying to do what’s right
with the life that they got left

CHORUS
now won’t you tell me…what would you rather be
the careless chaff or the worried wheat

2. i’m losing my sense of direction
i’m losing my will to proceed
Done running for reelection
im ready to concede

CHORUS

BRIDGE
Who am I to call this hurting
Who am I to be afraid
Sometimes your blessing is a burden
Sometimes a feather is a weight when you're the worried wheat

3. i will get on the saddle
i hope this horse can swim
right now i don't even want to paddle
i’ll be better in the morning

CHORUS
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Cheese Enchiladas

6/2/2015

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Lyrics:
1. you wick away the water
before you step out of the shower
you lather on the lotion
for about a thousand hours

CHORUS
i soak up these scenes and small routines
all the little things you do
just when i thought you gave me everything
you give me something new to love about you

2. 
you love cheese enchiladas
and candies with words written on them
you make sure i’m tucked in tight 
before you leave me in the morning


CHORUS
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Desert Wild

5/14/2015

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1.
There I was driving fast past the desert wind mill farms
Couldn’t see energy in their lifeless heavy arms
Never thought something so still could make me feel such an alarm
Maybe my anxious observation made them nervous to perform 

2. 
the outlaw sun had every one frozen like a stick up
they were praying for momentum, wondering when the wind might pick up
the sharp scare of the dead air could surely cure a case of the hiccups
i’m still clicking both my heels but now the dust won’t even kick up

CHORUS
i didn’t know what to do, i didn’t know what to say
i didn’t wanna go but sure as hell didn’t wanna stay
can’t recall every moment but I’ll always know the the way 
I felt in the desert wild, a lonely child on mother’s day

3.
i slowed down near a truck stop town when something caught my sight
a cactus backed against the rocks, flexing for a fight
Needles and pins pushing in and out with all their might
It looked thirsty, at the worst, it may not make it through the night

4. i felt sorry for that plant and the way it can’t give love
how should a cactus act when it’s offered a proper hug
of course i cared but wouldn’t dare to give it more than a sad shrug
i looked on the ground all around but never found my kid gloves 

CHORUS

BRIDGE
somewhere the weather’s not so hot and the ocean comes to play
otters hold hands when they sleep so they don’t drift away
but daughters cling to other things cause they’d drown if they stayed
i thought in the desert wild, a lonely child on mothers day

CHORUS
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Didn't I Say

4/4/2015

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Chorus:
I will pretend she is your friend
Fantasy’s ideal for me
I will pretend she is your friend
Reality is killing me

1. Didn’t i say if you live this way I will never approve
Didn’t I say if you live this way God will take heaven from you
Didn't I say if you live this way you’re turning your back on the truth
Thank God for unconditional love or how else could I make myself love a sinner like you

CHORUS

2. Didn’t you think about what I thought did you not think about my belief
Didn’t you try to get by on a diet of guilt and grief
Didn’t you know the way you chose to grow, now i can’t say I’m proud of how you grew
Thank God for unconditional love or how else could I make myself love a daughter like you

CHORUS
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Hands (wedding Song)

3/15/2015

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A song I wrote for my songwriting book club, inspired by The Art of Asking by Amanda Palmer. Also inspired by how much I love my little dollface Audrie. Just so happened to earn Honorable Mention in American Songwriter Magazine's Lyric Contest for this ditty.
1. my thumb is one indecisive prick 
don’t show him your swatches cause he’ll never pick
he’s got all these rules and sticks out when he’s sore
but he cradles the neck of his taylor guitar 
he likes the road and the road likes him too
but he’s always hitching the first ride back to you

2. index is on deck, he directs and selects
he’s got brilliant ideas for what should come next
the grandiose one in the air for the win
blessed with hearing the soul and steering the pen
like God to Adam in Michaelangelo’s hue
he’s making a point to create a life with you 

CHORUS
always done what i could with the hand i was dealt
raised it and shook it, wrote down what I felt
never won with a straight, just a face here and there
kept hoping for two of a kind for a pair
i’m down on one knee so you know where I stand
would have folded by now if it weren’t for your hand

3. the third’s like a bird, so careless and wild
a chip on her shoulder, the mad middle child 
she’s mastered the art of the cold hard goodbye
when she turns her back proud with her head held up high
but index the peacemaker always steps in
if you ever see her, my love, you’ll also see him 

4. the ring finger’s all heart, she’s made it her mission
to cry at commercials and value tradition
she won’t claim religion but her finger’s right on it
her prayers take the shape of rumi’s love sonnets 
she’ll stand in a crowd and happily swear 
to wear any ring you place there 

REPEAT CHORUS

5. Last but not least, small but not weak
everyone stops to hear him when he speaks
his reach may surprise you, for it’s far and long 
he’s got a tiny physique but he’s character-strong
not a word out of place, not a letter untrue
he’s pinky promising all his love to you
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